How to tell other people’s stories

Hello fellow human,

If you’re working for a nonprofit you already know the power of people’s stories to show impact, inspire support and drive change. 

If you’re not in the nonprofit space (say friend, what are the pay and perks like out there?), well, same.

Storytelling of this kind usually focuses on somebody who has benefitted from your organisation. This could mean somebody who is supported by your services, or it could be a previous happy client/customer.

Thing is, you can’t just charge in like Piers Morgan, asking questions because it will benefit your org. There’s a way to gather and tell people’s stories ethically, without compromising the integrity of the people involved.

So here’s a guide on how to tell people’s stories without being a d*ck. (There’s a plot twist at the end for those not concentrating at the back.) 

Step 1: Establishing connection

The first step is to establish a connection with the person whose story you want to share. Research has shown that people tend to respond to stories from individuals rather than large groups of people, so bear this in mind.

Be upfront about how you plan to use this person’s story and what impact you think it will have. If you want the story to help attract money or other resources, be upfront about that. If the intention is to raise awareness for other people in similar circumstances, share that.

If the person isn’t cool with your reasons for wanting to share their story—or, crucially, where and how you’ll share their story—thank them for their time and move on. As your ol’ nan always used to say, honesty is the best policy.

While you’re at it, ask what the person is comfortable with in terms of being identified. Are they happy for their full name to be used? Or maybe just their first name? Do they want identifiable details to be changed? Do they want their photograph shared or not? (More on this later.)

Let the person know that they have the power to control the narrative and can withdraw their participation at any time. Getting what you agree written down is a good idea, and you can use ‘consent forms’ for this.

Step 2: Preparing for the conversation

Before you have your conversation with the storyteller, do as much research as you can. This will help you understand the context in which their story lives, perhaps even hinting at the challenges they might have faced/be facing.

A caveat: Never assume. Be careful of connecting dots that aren’t there and making assumptions based on your (perhaps limited) knowledge and (definite) unconscious biases. Don’t assume you know anything about this person’s story at this stage. You want to go into the conversation as open as a department store on Black Friday.

Once you’ve done your research, prepare open-ended questions that encourage the person to share stories about their challenges, resources and triumphs in their own words. Open-ended questions are ones that start with ‘how,’ ‘why’ and ‘what.’

Step 3: Facilitating the conversation

Create a comfortable and safe environment for the conversation to take place. 

Most people like to record the conversation, which could happen on Zoom/Teams or with the audio recorder of your phone. If you’re a note-taker, make sure you’re not looking down all the time. Eye contact—making that human connection—is the most important thing.

Be patient and listen actively. Don’t just wait for the next gap so you can ask your next question. Leave pauses. Give the conversation space to breathe and come to life.

It goes without saying that empathy is a huge part of the story gathering process. Respect the person’s emotions. If you sense they’re uncomfortable answering a question, check if they want to move on.

It’s essential to make sure the storyteller feels heard and respected throughout the entire conversation.

Step 4: Writing it all up

When writing up your story, stay true to the voice of the storyteller. Using the first person is a good shout as it means the person is sharing their story directly and cuts down on any ‘them and us’ language that can separate stories from readers.

If you’re not using the first person, make use of direct quotes as much as possible. In the editing process, be careful not to distort the person’s message or take their words out of context. 

When writing, keep in mind that your organisation is in partnership with the storyteller. Any language that suggests your org is some sort of ‘saviour’ will alienate the storyteller as well as potential supporters.

Always, always share the story with the person before you publish it, and respect their right to make any changes. Make sure they’re comfortable with how their story is represented and where it will be shared.

What to do when you can’t use photographs

If the person is happy to share their story but doesn’t want their photograph used, you have a few options: 

1. Use a stock photo of a model

2. Use an image without people in

3. Use a photograph of the person that doesn’t identify them, i.e. a view of the back of their head or their hands while they’re looking at or doing something that relates to the story

The last one often works best. This option maintains the integrity of the story while keeping it engaging (and means you can stay away from those stock photos).

Hopefully you’ve already picked this up by now, but here’s that plot twist I promised: When telling other people’s stories, the aim is not to actually tell them at all, but to create the conditions that allow people to tell their own stories.

Did this help in any way, shape or form? Let me know in this inexplicably insect related poll you see here. 👇️